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It was 1:47 AM when she finally gets
her bottom sit in the chair and started writing this post. Today is already the
first day of November and technically, she’s broken her monthly journaling
streak. But since the blog is using one of The US time zones, which is 12 hours
behind, she still has one more go before it’s game over. That made her realized
how wonderful the world works.
At first, she wasn’t sure where to
start as there’s nothing on her mind. However, she noticed that it is so quiet here
tonight. Normally she’d hear her younger brother chatting and screaming with
his Discord friends as they played an MMORPG until two in the morning, but it
seems like he’s already been sleeping. And her cat too, he’s usually would be
out on a street fight by now. Making those loud, baby-like cries with his other
gangsta homies around the block. Now for some reason, he’s home. Even sleeping
with his tongue out and his foot on the laptop.
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It’s giving such a surreal atmosphere,
especially since she just woke up from a 7-hours of nap. And in most cases, she
would be hating the laptop for making the plane engine noises as if it’s about
to take off. Now this time, she’s feeling a bit good about it. The sound keeps
bringing her back to the present moment every time she’s zoning out.
And October, it went pretty insane as
she would call it. She went out four times this month, and it is such a significant
achievement. Especially since she did it purely because she wanted to, not
because someone forced her to.
She could hardly believe that she
actually stepped into a bookstore inside a crowded mall, a place she usually avoided
at all costs. And as if that wasn’t absurd enough, she went to swim alone in a
public swimming pool and also seeing the dentist; one of her least favorite
places unless it was absolutely necessary.
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Even though she’s still getting butterflies in her stomach and asthma attacks whenever she was about to step out of the house, she’s now realized that it wasn’t so bad and that it was all in her head.
