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What A Life

It took me a moment before I realized that it’s another last day of the month. Which means, I’ll have to stop procrastinating for real this time and start writing down the monthly recap of what’s been going on in my life for the past 30 days to keep this little blog stays up to date.  Besides April is going way too fast—just like the other months before—I feel like I’ve got a mountain of things to share in my monthly journaling than ever before since a lot has happened to me this month. But don’t worry, I’m not gonna spill the whole story here. You know? Some stuff is better left unsaid, even if I’m feeling too lazy to list them all. :D First, I wanna let my future self know that unlike last month where we binged all the sixth Resident Evil sequels (including the latest one where is no Alice in it: Welcome to Racoon City) we don’t watch any movie at all this month. Well, not until I get to watch one today. Honestly, there’s a new Ryan Gosling movie called The Fall Guy that really g
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Public Letters to My Partner

It was 00:10 when I pen down this note. An hour ago, I told my boyfriend that I was ready for bed, but now I ended up being here; hunched over like a shrimp and been staring at a blank page of Ms. Office for more than 30 minutes now. I know this isn’t good, and anyone has the right to throw me a negative comment if they see me sitting down with such a posture. But believe me when I say I’ve been sitting down with a much more proper position for at least the first 10- 20 minutes since I created a new document. But I’m telling you, nothing drains my energy more than staring at the blank page with a blinking insertion point. I hate journaling. Ever since I was a kid, I prefer to write fiction stories where I could freely write whatever I want without having to feel like I’m unveiling myself considering that journaling often involve deep self-disclosure and that makes me feel vulnerable and uncomfortable at the same time. But after remembering the fact that I have the worst memory, I f

Maneuver

February 25, 2024. The day where I decided to move back home and focus on taking care of my only parent alive that is now seemed to start exhibiting behavior like my dad before he passed away, which is really concerning. However, if I’m being honest, I don’t really feel like moving back and live with her because I found myself in a better mental health condition the second I got here. And it might sound very Gen Z when you bring up metal health stuff nowadays but, trust me when I said that living alone with my cat does provide me the peace I’ve always needed. But yeah, I guess now it’s the time for me to switch positions with mother and try to treat her as good as she did when I was a child. March is only a few days away and might as well I start the fresh new month at mum’s place. Still can’t believe it though, I’d made it the whole two months living on my own. Looking back to the first couple nights when I just got here, I had to stay on the phone with my boyfriend all night until

"You're In Your Head Too Much, Get Out of It!"

What’s up pals? Hope you’re all doing okay. It’s been a hot minute since we last hung out here. Life’s been a rollercoaster lately—lots of ups, a few downs, you know the drill. February is only a few hours away, and I wanted to share a bit about what’s been happening in my life this month. It’s been kinda tough honestly, and I’m not sure if I'm ready to talk about all the details. Life can be tricky, and this month has been a real challenge for me. I don’t wanna start all the way back to the day I walked out of the U.S embassy in Jakarta with tears in my eyes on December 22 nd  2023 which lead to the delayed American dream, or how hard it’s been to live alone and deal with the feeling of loneliness, isolated, and disconnected from the outside world when I thought it was supposed to be easy for a home girl like me to live on my own, since I came from a place where I didn’t socialize much. Thankfully I have such a caring boyfriend, my constant support through every storm and sunshine

Spotify Wrapped

Today is the second Tuesday of the final month of the year and I'm so excited. Not only because I have something bright and sparkling coming up, but it's also because I just love December in general ever since I was a kid. You see, December is identical to Christmas and even though I'm not a Christian myself, I've always been so eager every time Christmas approaches. One of the reasons is, there was this national TV channel named GlobalTV and whenever the twelfth month arrived, especially when it's close to the 25th, they would start scheduling Baby's Day Out  and Home Alone  movies EVERY DAY! Imagine getting to watch your favorite show the whole week, making your average afternoons into a mini vacation packaged with laugh, excitement and some familiar characters. As I'm getting older, I found that December is not just about Kevin's adventure fighting the two hilarious grown men who are trying to rob his house. December is also about the holiday seas

I Don't Need No Sleep

His name starts with an E, as well as mine but his is prettier. It feels so unreal every time I'm going to bed at night and realize that I'm actually with someone that I've been dreaming of since I was little and obsessed with Disney fairytales. I've been living on this earth for a total of two decades now and I’ve never expected to meet the prince of my dreams this early. I thought I'd meet him at least in my late 30s or sometime before my hair turns gray. Well actually, if you want me to be honest, I thought I'd be single forever and die alone with thousands of cats—that I rescued from the street—meowing around my dead body. I have been with four different men before him. All of them said that I was difficult, and I thought they were right because every romantic relationship I had, never lasted longer than just four months and a half. But they might be wrong. See, it's been six months now since my current lover said that he likes me too. And in fact, we&

Hobby Reboot

I love writing stories. Whenever anyone asks about my hobby, I'd always get so excited to tell them how writing can make me feel alive and how it often magically makes the time pass by ultra-fast without me even noticing. However, even though I always pull out the writing card every time I get such a question, fewer people know that writing is actually placed second on the list of the things that I considered as hobbies. Most of them are entirely unaware of the fact that I have dishwashing on top of the list. And the reason why I barely bring that up and keep hiding it from the surface, it's because I'm not a big fan of their instant-wrinkled forehead, or the way they'd slowly tilting their head slightly to the side—as if they were trying to make sense of something every time I told them that I love washing dishes. I mean, it's totally understandable why most people might get a little bit confused the time they hear something offbeat, especially if it's dishwa